For economy however, one has to look beyond the world’s most famous red light district of Amsterdam, where while anything sexual goes, it comes with high sticker prices.

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For the budget minded sex tourist, the #1 Budget Red Light District is Patpong Thailand. The go-go bars, blowjob bars, and sex-show bars are reasonably priced, and also very “varied” in their entertainment styles – ping-pong balls withstanding. Patpong is a highly developed red light, even employing a tourist police station.

Another budget red light district that comes with police protection and even a health clinic is Boy’s Town in Nuevo Laredo Mexico. This #2 Budget Red Light District features “cribs” for those that don’t drink alcohol or don’t want to pay high prices for bar drinks when engaging in some nightly entertainment. There is just you, a woman (or a man), and a small clean room with budget beverages.

The #3 Budget Red Light District is one of India’s oldest and largest in all of Asia: Kamathipura. Located in Mumbia, it’s cheap, crowded, and extremely dirty in all senses of the word. Here you will find anything you can ask for, and not have to pay hardly anything at all, although the HIV infection rates of sex workers is thought to be 40% or more on the positive side.

The Sino-Portuguese architecture creates an exuberant atmosphere in amongst a great mix of cheap food stalls and markets.

The weekend market on the outskirts of the town is a hive of activity on Friday and Saturday evenings. Food stalls, cheap clothing, trinkets and a vibrant atmosphere are the vital ingredients of a value-for-money night.

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Thais love to eat and don’t receive high salaries, so dining at any small Thai restaurant will be inexpensive. These styles of eateries are dotted over the entirety of Phuket Town, so don’t worry about choice because they are plentiful.

Most surprisingly, some of the cheapest places to eat on the island are the food courts inside shopping centers. You can find delicious and nutritious meals for the price of 40bht alongside a wealth of options.

Although Patong is accepted as the most expensive destination on the island, there is a wide choice of offerings of all price ranges. The old market on Nan Nai Road is full to the brim with food stalls where you can eat for amazing value. After 2am the market is like party central with girls and guys who have just finished work, eating and laughing until the early hours of the morning. This is a wonderful place to meet new and interesting people.

For cheap daytime entertainment you could visit the lofty heights of the Big Buddha perched on a mountaintop in Chalong. Or take in the numerous viewpoints which showcase dramatic views overlooking the Andaman Sea. Some of the island’s most untapped beaches are situated on the north-west coast such as Nai Yang or Nai Thon.

Phuket seafood is the freshest I’ve ever tasted, but the restaurants on the Patong beach road are expensive. If you have a fetish for red snapper and king prawns I would suggest the beachside restaurants at Rawai and Leam Hin for a real affordable and local experience.

The bad news of David Carradine’s recent death in the capital of Thailand is, ironically, good news for Bangkok’s sex tourism industry. After all, any kind of kinky or potentially dangerous sex should always be performed with a partner, and you don’t have to look far in Bangkok to find a woman – or man – willing.

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However, sex partners for hire don’t come cheap, and with the rate of the Thai Baht well below 50 to 1 Euro, sex is more expensive than it has been in the past. Still, as long as you are willing to pay the fees, the thousands of popular massage bathhouses welcome you day and night. Here you can get a nice scrub down, Thai massage, and then anything else that you desire.

These bathhouses are actually more like cheap budget hotels, but you only get to stay in the room for an hour or so. The reception areas don’t offer free tea and coffee, but you can buy an expensive beer while you decide on your “masseuse.” They are all on display, you see, behind a large plate glass window, sitting and smiling and winking, all trying to get your attention. You just have to choose the Thai girl, boy, or ladyboy that takes your fancy.

Then you are escorted to your rented room, which is invariably equipped with a Jacuzzi of some sort, a couch, and a massage table or bed. That’s where all the fun begins.

Do not let the bill surprise you. Some of the more unscrupulous houses offer an upfront cost of, say, 1500 Baht, but once things get all wet and soapy in the whirlpool, services other than a scrub and rub could cost you another 1000 Baht or more. So expect to spend about 2500 or so for a decent bath, massage and… well, your imagination is the only limit there. The more established and reputable places will provide an all-in service for a flat rate. Don’t be shy, and be sure to ask exactly what the cover charge includes in the way of services.

Areas such as Patong are the most expensive and you can find yourself waking up in the morning wondering where $200 went! The biggest money traps are the girlie bars because you find yourself buying the girls drinks all night and not realizing the separate prices. A “girlie drink” can cost up to three times as much as your exact same drink. Beware of that one.

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Patong is indeed expensive for a night out and if you realize you are paying more than 100bht for a bottle of beer, you are being overcharged.

Karon, Kata, Chalong, Rawai and Kamala have much more reasonable bars, charging anywhere from 70bht to 90bht per beer. This is the going rate.

Nightclubs on Bangla Road, Patong will charge you 200bht for a bottle of beer and even more for spirits. So if you are on a tight budget its better to stay away from these places.

Karon and Kata have hundreds of girlie bars and normal drinking establishments with fairly priced drinks and friendly atmospheres. You will meet a wide variety of people from different countries and will soon make friends within the hedonistic holiday atmosphere.

One of the cheapest places for a night out is Chalong. Here you will find bars of all types and enjoying listening to the stories from the local expats who have resided in Phuket for years.

In the predominantly Thai Phuket Town, you can enjoy a great night out at discotheques such as Jammin’ and Timberhut. Although most of the party people will be Thai, there will be a fair few westerners dancing the night away to a mixture of DJs and live bands.

The cheapest aspect about Phuket Town is you can buy a bottle of Whiskey from the convenience store, take it inside Jammin’ and pay a small “corkage” charge. You are welcome to sit there all night sipping away on your whiskey and only paying out for mixers such as coke and tonic water.

Patong is the king for getaway package beach holidays and is the number one tourist destination on the island. The beach is fairly clean and provides a mass of water sports and convenient restaurants and bars within a short walking distance.

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While it is an exciting and enjoyable beach location, it does not provide much seclusion or tranquility. The overriding factor in Patong’s success is the diverse nature of the price ranges and things to do. You can enjoy a real low-cost holiday in Patong, but there are better value-for-money options on the island.

Karon and Kata are two smaller beachside resorts on the south-western coast within a ten minute drive of Patong. Karon is a very friendly area with an affable expatriate community with very fair priced accommodation.

Karon is more of a family destination than Patong and owns a much cleaner and uncluttered beach. The quality of life is much slower and pleasant than the pulsating heart of Patong.

Kata is very similar to Karon, with its family atmosphere and slower pace. The beach is much smaller, but very picturesque and a favorite with locals due to the surrounding palm trees that provide welcome shade. The accommodation is also very reasonable, not as cheap as the low end of the Patong scale, but much better value overall.

Nai Harn Beach is reputedly the finest in Phuket, and I wouldn’t dispute that! But the area is generally more expensive and home to high-end resorts and hotels, pricing itself out of the value-for-money stakes.

The same can be said of the north-western beach resorts of Surin, Kamala and Bangtao. All three are beautiful beaches in their own right, but are generally dominated by five-star resorts and slightly expensive pricing.

I would personally recommend Karon or Kata for a value beachside holiday with good standard beaches, restaurants and overall atmosphere.

The cheapest form of travel from Bangkok to Phuket (or from every other destination) is via the excellent Thailand bus service. Although the journey from Bangkok can take up to 12 hours, this is the cheapest and most scenic route by far.

Although Patong is the island’s number one tourist destination, the sheer amount of hotels and restaurants will guarantee a competitive choice of price ranges to suit the individual needs of everybody.

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The Nan Nai Road stretch of Patong is roughly situated a kilometer away from the beach and the famous Bangla Road area. Nan Nai is home to a large expatriate community, inexpensive guesthouses, restaurants and a wide range of bars where the prices are substantially cheaper than Patong’s main Bangla Road stretch.

Ironically, getting around the island can be the most expensive aspect of your vacation due to the stranglehold the tuk-tuk drivers have over the local authorities. The cheapest form of transport is the Song Taew bus. The open back buses charge anywhere from 10bht to 40bht depending how far you travel. Be aware that the Song Taew only operates from early morning to 6pm.

Rawai Beach is situated at the southernmost tip of Phuket and the cheapest and most beautiful place to eat fresh seafood straight off the fishing boats. There are a number of restaurants situated directly on the beach. Rawai is the perfect place to eat top-quality seafood at bargain basement prices with immense views.

Chalong bay is situated on the south-east coast and one of the best value-for-money places in Phuket. This is where the majority of the island’s English teachers and journalists live and hang out. In Chalong you will find very affordable accommodation and restaurants while meeting the colorful and intriguing expat community.

If there is one sight that you need to see while in Bangkok, it would have to be the absolutely stunning Grand Palace. It was built in 1782 and for the first one hundred and fifty years was home to the king of Thailand. The palace has seen many visitors over past years and the number grows, as they come to gaze in absolute awe at its immense beauty. It really is a spectacular sight and holds a vast amount of Thai history and culture. Inside the palace complex are many amazing sights which will astound you and leave you with a feeling of absolute peace. There is a small charge of 200baht which is £2 and for the pure delight which the palace offers, is a small price to pay. If you do come to Thailand a visit here is a must.

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Eat out at a Bangkok Night Market

When visiting the beautiful country which is Thailand and you visit Bangkok, you cannot leave without stopping off at one of the many night markets. You will be truly amazed at the fantastic sights that the markets have to offer. There is a saying; if you cannot buy it in Thailand then it is not for sale. These excellent night markets are an experience, you can walk around for hours without making a purchase, or maybe stop at one of the many food stalls, enjoy food like you have never tasted before, for literally pennies. There is so much on offer that you hare spoilt for choice, you can browse the hundreds of stalls, selling everything from clothing to ornaments and then sit and enjoy a drink and the best food you will ever taste. The people are very friendly and always willing to assist you in any way they can. A must see.

Phuket Town is the most affordable place on the island, as well as the capital. There are numerous hostels and cheap guesthouses from as little as 200bht per night. The town is the perfect backpacker paradise with vast amounts of affordable restaurants and nightspots for those travelling on a tight budget. Phuket Town is predominantly Thai and the prices reflect the lack of real tourist facilities, which could be a good or bad thing depending what you’re looking for.

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If you’re looking for cheap accommodation within a more densely populated beachside tourist region, Patong would be the perfect choice. Although it does have some of Phuket’s most expensive hotels and resorts, there is an infinite choice. There are a handful of hostel dormitories and cheap low-end guesthouses that start from 200bht per night up to 500bht per night. This would be a better option for those who seek a sundrenched holiday within close proximity to modern facilities.

Chalong is a mostly expatriate area situated on the south-east coast of the island and is home to quite a few reasonably priced guesthouses. Chalong is also a great place to rent a cheap bungalow if you’re wishing to stay in Phuket for over a month. A two bedroom townhouse or bungalow could cost within the region of 8,000bht to 15,000bht per month, which is ideal if two or three of you are willing to split the rent.

The more quieter and tranquil areas such as Surin, Kamala and Nai Harn are generally more expensive due to the insufficient amount of accommodation, so they become more exclusive and expensive.

So, Phuket Town would be ideal for those looking for a piece of real Thai life, while Patong would sit well with the more hedonistic traveler. Chalong rests soundly in between, offering a little bit of the two other main options.

Bangkok taxis come in many different colours, and if you see one with the slogan “Taxi-Meter,” this is the one for you. Communication can sometimes be a little difficult, so having a map with you would be handy.

Make sure you exactly pinpoint your desired location out on the map to eliminate potential confusion.

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Secondly, insist the driver immediately turns on his meter, so you get the fair going-rate price. A failure to do so will result in you being overpriced for the trip, with the driver trying his best to get the highest fare possible. If the driver refuses to turn on the meter, just get out of the taxi and find another. There are thousands!

Another little favourite scam of the Bangkok taxi driver will consist of him taking you to a tailor shop or a gem store where he receives commission. Firmly, without being angry, inform the driver you are in a rush and have to meet a friend. Remember that you are under no obligation to purchase anything more than the taxi ride itself. Many drivers may become rude or even aggressive if you decline their offer of a “free” visit to their friends shop, so you will need to be firm, even to the point of asking the driver to stop and let you out if they become too insistent

Keep away from rogue taxis which do not parade a Taxi-Meter sign, because they will try to overprice you and you will not have a leg to stand on. All proper taxis will display a licence in the bottom left hand corner of the windscreen, if in doubt then check that this is in evidence.

Always be friendly, calm and never show your anger if the driver cannot find you desired location straight away. Showing grace and good manners will always ensure you are treated with respect.

Although Phuket can be an expensive holiday, there are loads of things to keep you occupied for free.

Obviously the beach is the perfect starting point. Sun loungers cost money to hire, so take a beach mat and wile away a few hours gazing out to the crystal blue waters of the Andaman Sea.

If you have access to transport you could drive along the west-coast and enjoy the breathtaking views and luscious jungle scenery. The south-western coastline is home to the Kata Viewpoint perched amidst the lofty heights of a dramatic mountainside. From this beautiful vantage point you can overlook the ocean, Kata Noi and Kata Beach.

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At the southernmost tip of Phuket you will find the Laem Promthep Viewpoint at Rawai. This is where everybody congregates around 6:15pm to watch that famous Phuket sunset. This is a purposely built viewpoint with a lighthouse and everything is for free, so enjoy the sights.

Chalong Temple

Visiting a Buddhist temple is always a perfect opportunity to soak in the famous and colorful Thai culture. I would recommend Chalong Temple because it’s one of the most aesthetically pleasing and within a five-minute drive from the ever-growing reputation of the Big Buddha Temple, also situated in Chalong.

Big Buddha is a large golden Buddha statue and temple positioned upon one of Phuket’s highest mountains. The views are the most dramatic you will find on the island. There is also the added bonus of viewing the monkeys which live on the mountainside. The Big Buddha monument isn’t fully completed, but this matters not. The views are well worth the journey alone and you will absolutely love it, everybody does!